This was such a nice suprise in my inbox! I know you are focusing on writing so I didn't expect to receive your newsletter for a very long time. This might be one of my favourite essays of yours because it clearly explains some of the discomfort I feel at the idea of being pregnant that for the longest time I wasn't able to understand. I don't feel like congratulations are the right thing to write under such a nuanced post so I wish instead you'll have the opportunity to celebrate your wedding the way you wish soon!
Thank you so much for this lovely message, Yoh! I also always felt a little weird about getting married and pregnancy and having kids despite also wanting to, and it took our civil ceremony to prompt beginning to understand why. And we are indeed planning the celebration that we wanted, even if it won't have much meaning in the eyes of the State :)
"Realizing that what you value so much isn’t valued by others—or conversely, realizing that what you value so little is of paramount importance to others—is an inherently isolating experience."
I feel as though this is the inner struggle of every creator :)
Such a moving piece, thank you. It captured feelings I could not put into words. I am now subscribing to your content. Congratulations on everything you have accomplished - marriage, this amazing career, being a leader in this space. Looking forward to seeing you climb even higher.
Congratulations cece! I’ve been following your journey for a while (#tiktok!) and I always love getting your updates! As always, wishing you all the best
Thank you for articulating this to me, to us. We are part of a community of ppl who do not value the projection and assumption of what we value just because we make what may be seen as “conventional” decisions with our lives and relationships. Reading this as part of that community with you makes me feel seen. I am sending this essay to my partner. Can’t wait for your book- I am already planning to buy two copies. Even though it is uncomfortable due to the outside scrutiny, I’m happy for you living your truth!
I feel this sooo much. Ive been engaged for a year and a half and every time someone starts asking me about my wedding plans i get a weird bubbling rage bc of exactly this: " there is no good way of engaging with the institution under your own system of values without also reinforcing the existing traditional system of values that it represents.... My family will make a bigger deal out of it than I want them to; strangers will project their own definition of marriage onto mine." Its kind of a formality for me too, and i just know everyone elses ideals on what it "should" be are going to stress me out. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Right?? I was so confused by the bubbling rage because by all accounts, these events are happy events that I want... but I totally agree that being confronted with someone else's ideals and "shoulds" would understandably stress anyone--especially women who are already constantly faced with ideals and "shoulds"--out. You're not alone! We can be happy and enraged at the same time :)
Great essay! I loved how you described the feeling of discomfort from having other people assume your views. It’s something that I’ve felt but never could explain. You have a way with words!
Congrats on getting married! I also got my marriage license last week at the NYC city hall, so feel you on the non-romantic setting haha. Here’s to getting married!
Yes, here's to getting married, however it means to us/the law/others!! (I actually did think Manhattan City Hall's marriage department was pretty adorable too (we went there to get our domestic partnership)). Hope you and your partner make it--and the rest of life--exactly what you want it to be <3
congratulations!!!! 💗💗💗
Thank you!
Hope you get to celebrate your wedding the way you want soon!
Thank you! Don't worry--we are planning it still for 2025 :)
This was such a nice suprise in my inbox! I know you are focusing on writing so I didn't expect to receive your newsletter for a very long time. This might be one of my favourite essays of yours because it clearly explains some of the discomfort I feel at the idea of being pregnant that for the longest time I wasn't able to understand. I don't feel like congratulations are the right thing to write under such a nuanced post so I wish instead you'll have the opportunity to celebrate your wedding the way you wish soon!
Thank you so much for this lovely message, Yoh! I also always felt a little weird about getting married and pregnancy and having kids despite also wanting to, and it took our civil ceremony to prompt beginning to understand why. And we are indeed planning the celebration that we wanted, even if it won't have much meaning in the eyes of the State :)
"Realizing that what you value so much isn’t valued by others—or conversely, realizing that what you value so little is of paramount importance to others—is an inherently isolating experience."
I feel as though this is the inner struggle of every creator :)
Thanks for sharing Cece!
Bahaha you're so right--this is why YouTubers always leave YouTube... thanks so much for reading!
Such a moving piece, thank you. It captured feelings I could not put into words. I am now subscribing to your content. Congratulations on everything you have accomplished - marriage, this amazing career, being a leader in this space. Looking forward to seeing you climb even higher.
Congratulations cece! I’ve been following your journey for a while (#tiktok!) and I always love getting your updates! As always, wishing you all the best
congrats!
Thank you for articulating this to me, to us. We are part of a community of ppl who do not value the projection and assumption of what we value just because we make what may be seen as “conventional” decisions with our lives and relationships. Reading this as part of that community with you makes me feel seen. I am sending this essay to my partner. Can’t wait for your book- I am already planning to buy two copies. Even though it is uncomfortable due to the outside scrutiny, I’m happy for you living your truth!
I feel this sooo much. Ive been engaged for a year and a half and every time someone starts asking me about my wedding plans i get a weird bubbling rage bc of exactly this: " there is no good way of engaging with the institution under your own system of values without also reinforcing the existing traditional system of values that it represents.... My family will make a bigger deal out of it than I want them to; strangers will project their own definition of marriage onto mine." Its kind of a formality for me too, and i just know everyone elses ideals on what it "should" be are going to stress me out. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Right?? I was so confused by the bubbling rage because by all accounts, these events are happy events that I want... but I totally agree that being confronted with someone else's ideals and "shoulds" would understandably stress anyone--especially women who are already constantly faced with ideals and "shoulds"--out. You're not alone! We can be happy and enraged at the same time :)
Great essay! I loved how you described the feeling of discomfort from having other people assume your views. It’s something that I’ve felt but never could explain. You have a way with words!
Thank you!! I'm definitely trying 😭
Congrats on getting married! I also got my marriage license last week at the NYC city hall, so feel you on the non-romantic setting haha. Here’s to getting married!
Yes, here's to getting married, however it means to us/the law/others!! (I actually did think Manhattan City Hall's marriage department was pretty adorable too (we went there to get our domestic partnership)). Hope you and your partner make it--and the rest of life--exactly what you want it to be <3